i know im an idiot for doing this to myself again. is it over this time is it finally fucking done/////////////……………..
hate myself for hurting you when complications hurt me
dont miss much these days
ive changed a lot in the past couple years a thing ive noticed is that falling asleep i used to dream about boys a lot, just as something to day dream about before bed. now i dont day dream about anything. my brain my stays blank mostly. well not blank but it doesnt think about boys anymore. i mostly replay bad situations in my head and think about what went wrong. but if i catch myself doing this is stop myself and try my hardest to think of nothing. it hurts too much. i also noticed between starting at new job and tacofino its a lot easier for me to talk to people im no longer afraid and socially awkward which is so nice. i used to be so shy i ddnt open to people for almost two months at tacofino. and here ive already made friends :)
i want to wake up in my own bed again
lost my job at tacofino which is fine i was kind of over working there. my old boss got me an interview at a fancy pizza place and i got a trial shift. which is rn, im fucking terrified i cant even cook i dont know what im doing in a kitchen. augh im gonna fail an embarrass myself. i dont want to do this im a baby.
ive written so much just now and deleted all of it over and over because the words wont come out right. nothing comes out. everything i want to say is wrong. i cant describe it, the way things are right now. i dont have words, i just want to scream it all at the top of my lungs/ nothing comes out. how do i get all of this fucking shit out of me. where do i put it. i used to be able to put all of my feelings here. do i even feel anymore? who the fuck am i
Angelina Jolie 19 years old, By Michel Bourquard 1994